Why Do I Care?
As many of you know, probably because I talk about it a lot (and I'm not ashamed of that!) I have been going through Re:Generation for the last few months, which is a biblically-based recovery program. It has been so beneficial and fruitful in my walk with the Lord. Truth is, I think every follower of Christ could benefit from doing something like this and digging into their hurts, habits and hang ups.
I knew early on in my Re:Gen work that one "hang up" I needed to work on was people pleasing. I have always wanted those around me to like or think well of me. What I didn't realize is how much this plays a role in my parenting.
With three small kids, our house is always loud and always a mess. It is what it is. And I can handle that. Because my home is, at least in my mind, is a controlled environment. Maybe controlled chaos, but controlled nonetheless.
But get us out in public, and the wheels may fly off before you even have a chance to realize we have entered the scene. And while I try to keep it "cool," remind my kids of expectations and maybe even force a smile on my face, I am DYING on the inside. Playing like a broken record in my head is, "You are a failure of a parent. You can't handle this. You know it. Your kids know it. Everyone around you definitely knows it."
But then, a few weeks ago, while doing my Re:gen work one morning, I read Galatians 1:10, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
In my parenting, am I doing it all for the approval of man or of God? Am I more worried about what those around me say about my parenting or what God says? Am I seeking others and their opinions when the wheels fall off? Or am I seeking wisdom from the One who knows and loves me AND my kids more than anyone else? The One who truly knows what is best? The One who has big plans for each of my children?
The truth was, I was under the impression that my kids and their inability to sometimes sit still in class or the way they seem to only speak at a volume appropriate for an amusement park was a direct reflection of me. I was too worried about what others thought about me or my parenting skills to actually seek to simply obey what God calls me to do as a parent.
And you know what He says? Trust HIM. Teach them about HIM. Talk about what HE is doing my life. Point to HIM. Serve HIM. Seek forgiveness. Love others.
Truth is, I have GREAT kids. They are hilarious and loud. They are kind and tender-hearted. They love big and tell the funniest stories. And before they were ever MY kids, they were His creations.
So I start each day by asking the Lord to give me grace and patience, to keep my focus on Him, and to trust Him with my children.
Because that is what I am called to do. Trust and obey. Trust that He knows the plan and His plan is good. Follow through with obedience in shepherding my children.
And if I do that, at the end of the day, I cannot take the credit for the successes of my children, nor can I beat myself for when they miss the mark.
I knew early on in my Re:Gen work that one "hang up" I needed to work on was people pleasing. I have always wanted those around me to like or think well of me. What I didn't realize is how much this plays a role in my parenting.
With three small kids, our house is always loud and always a mess. It is what it is. And I can handle that. Because my home is, at least in my mind, is a controlled environment. Maybe controlled chaos, but controlled nonetheless.
But get us out in public, and the wheels may fly off before you even have a chance to realize we have entered the scene. And while I try to keep it "cool," remind my kids of expectations and maybe even force a smile on my face, I am DYING on the inside. Playing like a broken record in my head is, "You are a failure of a parent. You can't handle this. You know it. Your kids know it. Everyone around you definitely knows it."
But then, a few weeks ago, while doing my Re:gen work one morning, I read Galatians 1:10, "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
In my parenting, am I doing it all for the approval of man or of God? Am I more worried about what those around me say about my parenting or what God says? Am I seeking others and their opinions when the wheels fall off? Or am I seeking wisdom from the One who knows and loves me AND my kids more than anyone else? The One who truly knows what is best? The One who has big plans for each of my children?
The truth was, I was under the impression that my kids and their inability to sometimes sit still in class or the way they seem to only speak at a volume appropriate for an amusement park was a direct reflection of me. I was too worried about what others thought about me or my parenting skills to actually seek to simply obey what God calls me to do as a parent.
And you know what He says? Trust HIM. Teach them about HIM. Talk about what HE is doing my life. Point to HIM. Serve HIM. Seek forgiveness. Love others.
Truth is, I have GREAT kids. They are hilarious and loud. They are kind and tender-hearted. They love big and tell the funniest stories. And before they were ever MY kids, they were His creations.
So I start each day by asking the Lord to give me grace and patience, to keep my focus on Him, and to trust Him with my children.
Because that is what I am called to do. Trust and obey. Trust that He knows the plan and His plan is good. Follow through with obedience in shepherding my children.
And if I do that, at the end of the day, I cannot take the credit for the successes of my children, nor can I beat myself for when they miss the mark.
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