Who we think we are.

A recent study showed that we would rather think about working out 4 times a week than actually going for a walk once a week.  When pressed, most people don't think a walk would make much of a difference, but the idea of starting to workout next week or telling ourselves we workout several times a week seems to make more sense.  
The problem is that it isn't true.
Thinking about a great workout plan doesn't do anything for you.  A 1 or 2 mile walk each week actually does make a difference. In fact, walking is a great way to exercise for a variety of reasons. So why would we rather do nothing but think about doing something rather than actually do something?  That is an easy answer: so we can tell ourselves we are the type of people who workout several times a week.  
Most of us are not who we think we are. We overestimate our generosity, good intentions, physical abilities, and spiritual disciplines. For example,  I consider myself generous, but I have a good reason that I can't give to support a cause or serve the less fortunate this week- and next week. I consider myself a good friend though I haven't reached out to you in several weeks and missed several opportunities to be a good friend.  The truth is that it doesn't matter what I consider myself, a good friend is a friend that reaches out and connects with those I care about. 
So here is a hard fact to swallow.  The only way you'll ever really know who you are is for someone else to tell you.
Most of us don't want to believe this.  We think we know our intentions and we think our intentions match our actions.  The problem is they likely do not.  
One of the most important habits you can have in your life is accountability.  Actually sitting across from someone and asking them, "What's it like to be on the other side of me?".  Ask them to tell you how you are impacting their life or how you are being a good friend.  How could you be a better friend.  Or consider sitting across from your spouse and asking, "what could I do this week that would 1000% show you that I love you?"  (then do it!!).  Ask your kids, "what could I do this week that would show you that I love you?"  (Then show up and do it!).
And then there is our spiritual walk.  Who can you sit with and ask, "What area of my life do you see inconsistent with my faith?" , " Is there an area of my life that you are aware of that doesn't represent Christ to others?"  Unless we have people who love us and want to help us move from where we are to where God wants us to be, we will never be able to take steps.  We might not even know we need to take a step.  
I believe every relationship you have - your friends, spouse, kids, even your relationship to God would be better if you would ask them one simple question- "What's it like to be on the other side of me?